“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” – Nelson Mandela
Every day we are faced with a ton of choices that we need to make. Everything about our lives – from where we live to what we eat all came together by YOU making a decision.
I am incredibly lucky to live in a country that allows me freedom of choice. I am not saying that this place is perfect but where I live – I get to choose what I wear, what religion I practice, who I marry and what I read.
For some people this is a dream. I do want to acknowledge that many people don’t get to make the choices that we do because it can help with clarifying some of our troubles with making life decisions.
For those of us that were born + raised in a free society; we struggle with making decisions. From big life queries such as: “What do I want to do with my life? Who do I want to be with? Who am I and How will I get there?” to the basics of “what should I make for dinner, what should I wear today, how much should I spend, etc.”
Some of this might sound minimal to you but as I’ve learned from my own experience and from my work as a coach/mentor this stuff keeps people up at night. Not only does indecision drive us mad but the constant fear of making a so-called wrong choice keeps us stuck.
Recently, I went on a trip and stayed at a hotel that I had spent the night at about 7 years prior. It brought up a lot of inner reflection as the memories of that past arose. I thought about everything that changed the past 7 years; what I had done, who I had become, and guess what – I was left with a smile on my face.
I felt proud of myself and the choices I made. I realized how my life today is a reflection of those small and big decisions. There wasn’t an ounce of regret and it felt good! Now, that doesn’t mean everything is flawless or was flawless. I experienced challenges + had many times that I beat myself for “what happened -” but when I looked back, none of that mattered.
I thought back on those years and tried to remember how everything came together. Here’s what I realized.
- The good things outweighed the bad in terms of importance.
Use big picture thinking when making a choice. Zoom out on your life. Ask yourself will this matter 5-10 years down the road? Or is this what I want for myself 5-10 years down the road?
- Whatever I thought was bad redirected me to something better.
Life is unexplainable in so many ways. Things just don’t make sense and sometimes there are no answers. Yet, when we look back, it’s amazing how things come together and shift exactly as they’re meant to – remember this when it’s tough. Use your memories as a reminder. When was there a time when you thought everything was falling apart or you hated yourself for a mistake – how did it positively shape you now – what doors did it open?
- All the choices I made that I am proud of came from a deeper place – my feelings.
When I looked at the big picture choices I made; I remembered how I struggled so much with making a choice that logically didn’t make sense but just FELT right. I remember when I changed my major in school, broke up with an ex-boyfriend, moved, quit my full-time job, etc. it was so confusing because my head said one things and my gut said another. It took courage for me to follow my feelings.
Here’s my simple message to support you in making a decision:
Use your intuition over your ego (follow your feelings) ~ Remember that there is no such thing as a wrong choice (one door closes and another one opens ~ Use big picture thinking (zoom out, see what’s possible)
Love + Light,