“It’s not what you look at the matters, it’s what you see” Henry David Thoreau
What do you see when you look at yourself? How would you describe the beautiful uniqueness that can only be you? Do the harsh judgements overshadow how absolutely wonderful you are? For most of us unfortunately, we are blinded by our ego, painful past experiences, and false ideas that have been ingrained in us since childhood. We easily mistake them for the truth and live in a never ending cycle of not enough. It can affect us all in different ways, for some it is weight and self-image issues, for others it’s bank accounts and job titles, no matter what it is and I really mean NO MATTER WHAT; it all boils down to the extremely false idea that we are not worthy, that we don’t deserve it, that perhaps one day if we keep pushing through and working hard we can get there but it’s not today, it’s not yet. Sound familiar? You are not alone, many of my clients share this with me in our sessions and even if they didn’t I know it all too well. Recently I had another reminder when I set out to create my website. I wanted to represent myself and worried that I wouldn’t be seen. The reason I was pushing hard was because I thought I needed to create an altered version of myself. My ego was shouting “your regular self isn’t enough”. Then it hit me, my closest friends and family already saw me as capable and wise life coach and writer. They knew I was enough. Why did I need to prove it?
For me this meant three things, firstly, I don’t see myself as I truly am. HUGE! Secondly, I already am good, deserving, and perfectly me. Thirdly, I am blessed to have the support group in my life that sees the real me even when I act not so fabulously.
Do you want to change the way you view yourself? Here are a few ways to start seeing who you really are:
1. Ask the people that are closest to you.
Sometimes when our own self-worth is skewed and we can’t tell what’s real, the best thing we can do is ask our closest friends what they see. What do they love about you and why are they lucky to have you in their life? This isn’t to get approval or validation from them, although it is nice! The point is to remind ourselves what we’ve been hiding from ourselves all these years.
2. Know that you already are that which you deepest desire.
What is it really? What is that you want to see or feel or know so badly that you don’t currently? Think of the possibility that you already are that and everyone else can see it. Now it’s time for you to see it and feel it. Use the affirmation “I am blank”. Examples include: I am beautiful, successful, worthy, happy, safe, funny, etc…Read it out loud each day and begin to shift your life!
3. Release the past.
I love the quote by Rumi, “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” It beautifully describes how complex and wondrous human beings are. If in the past, you behaved a certain way and feel ashamed or embarrassed know this “It does not define you” and as soon as you are ready to release it, it is gone! Try visualizing yourself holding on to a balloon that carries the past memory and then releasing, letting go of the string while watching it disappear into the sky.
4. Trust that you are safe no matter what.
One major piece in not seeing yourself is fear. We are scared to see what’s inside and feel safer numbing ourselves and avoiding it. In order to step into yourself you have to trust that you are safe and believe that even if you don’t see it, there is a guiding light inside of you leading the way. Think of a past experience where you took a leap of faith and things actually worked out. Use this memory as a focal point, a reminder that beautiful outcomes have resulted from going for it!
If you are interested in diving deeper and learning more about truly seeing yourself schedule a free session!
Love and Light,